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Believe it or not...
These are Memphis , TN 's
REAL 911 Calls!

Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller : Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich .
Dispatcher : Excuse me?
Caller : I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher : Was anything else taken?
Caller : No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!
And the winner is........And My Personal Favorite!!!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn...I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police

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Double P90 Shooter
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In the words of sheriff Buford T. Justice "what in the hell has this world come to"
 

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Back in another life, I was doing a "ride-along" in dispatch (observing, listening) and one old biddy called FIVE TIMES about the dead squirrel on her front lawn. She was VEEERY upset that no one had come out to get it . . . . . at 23:00 hours (11 pm for non military clock people). It was only when the dispatcher told her that another call WOULD yield a police officer . . . to take her to jail, that she ceased calling. :rolleyes:
 

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We had one day when a woman called in because she was hiking/walking on a hill behind one of the local elementary schools when she spotted a mountain lion down near the school, about the time when school was to let out. She wanted the school to be notified and officers to come out to keep the mountain lion from attacking children.

While still on the phone with dispatch, attempting to describe where it was, she suddenly stated "Oh, nevermind. You don't have to come out. It's a nice mountain lion"

How she would 1. think a mountain lion could be nice and 2. Come close enough or be in a situation to be able to deem the mountain lion as nice, I will never know.
 

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Ausmerican.
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Oxygen thieves.....
 

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LOL, that was funny, hard to imagine some people..
 
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