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Discussion Starter #1
CHRISTMAS WITH LOUISE


As a joke, my brother used to hang a pair of panty hose over his
fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to
fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be
true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings
were overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.

One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses
and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don't sell those
things at Wal-Mart.

I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go. You'll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, "What does this do?" "You're kidding me!" "Who would buy that?" Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section. I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the carpool lane during rush hour.

Finding what I wanted was difficult Love dolls come in many different
models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could
do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I settled on
'Lovable Louise." She was at the bottom of the price scale. To call
Louise a "doll" took a huge leap of imagination.

On Christmas Eve, with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life. My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went home, and giggled for a couple of hours. The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy but had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. We all agreed that Louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner.

My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. "What in the world is that?" she asked. My brother quickly explained, "It's a doll." "Who would play with something like that?" Granny snapped. I had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. "Where are her clothes?" Granny continued.

"Boy, that turkey sure smells nice, Gran," Jay, my brother said,
trying to steer her into the dining room. But Granny was relentless.
"Why doesn't she have any teeth?" Again, I could have answered, but
why would I? It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, "Hang on Granny! Hang on!"

My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to
me and said, "Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?" I told him
she was Jay's friend. A few minutes later, I noticed Grandpa by the
mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home. The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa.

The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and
Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began
administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. My brother fell back over
his chair and wet his pants and Granny threw down her napkin, stomped
out of the room, and sat in the car.

It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember. Later in my
mother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the
cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health.

Louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. I think
Grandpa still calls her whenever he can get out of the house.
 

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So you went into an adult "Toy" store to buy a blow-up doll, and you spent an hour looking around FIRST! OOOOOO! You dirty, dirty girl you! (Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy-LOL)
Dan'o 8()~
 

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Discussion Starter #3
I've lightly entertained the idea knowing that would make my husband's day. He'd be ROFLHAO. However, even though I'm a chatty cathy, I have my shy side and so it will probably remain only a thought. Me spending an hour in a store like that isn't going to happen.
 

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Natalie Frey, you owe me a new keyboard AND a can of Pepsi.:D

Passing this on to family.

Have a very Merry Christmas

Leonard
 

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Discussion Starter #7
quote:Originally posted by stormspotter

Natalie Frey, you owe me a new keyboard AND a can of Pepsi.:D

Passing this on to family.

Have a very Merry Christmas

Leonard
A PEPSI MAN - yes! - GOOD people! I think I have an old keyboard laying around somewhere - dunno for sure.
 
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