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I was at the store buying a bag of dog food, in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog chow, RIGHT ??? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care, with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and all you do is load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Better watch what you ask me and be prepared for my answer. I have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say........................ now that you've read it I have to confess, I copied it from someone else.. share and make someone else smile today
 

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:D. I like being well informed. ...
 

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I may have to try that the next time someone asks me a stupid question in line.

I had someone ask me if I had a cat when I was in line with nothing but a bag of dry cat food; I said "No. Why do you ask?" That seemed to end the conversation right there.


Jim
 

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the clerk asked me after scanning the 1/2 gallon of milk i put on the counter...

"would you like that in a bag?"

i told her "no, i'd like to keep it in the jug".

try it sometime, its fun.
 

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When I am asked the same question, I always respond with this:

"Yes, I am on the Dog Food Diet. I've lost X pounds since I started on it. But it does have some bad side effects. I want to lick my *****, scratch my ears, growl at the mailman, and urinate on every fire hydrant I see regularly. And lets not mention what I did on the carpet."
 

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RF.net joke of the year :D
 

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That was funny.

She'll smarten up and probably just ask the next guy with dog food in his cart "what kind of dog do you have?"
 

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LOL! Good one, Buck :D
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Glad that you all enjoyed it :D
 

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Way too funny.....
 

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I was buying bread that said it was made from scratch, so I ask the cashier what did they scratch when they made it. ...
 

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That was a good one Buck. Lots of great responses.
 
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