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Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When all the kids graduate from college and get jobs.
 

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Spellign Bee Champ
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15,548 Posts
Haha nice except this one is no longer PC ;)
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth--- wait when the child is older (not necessarily wiser) and chooses his/her sexual orientation :D
 

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Most excellent!!!

Q: Is it still appropriate to hand out cigars to my friends to celebrate the babies birth?
A: NO --- low fat Vegan cupcakes in a neutral color are acceptable.
 

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Ausmerican.
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42,767 Posts
Good one monte.
 

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Q: How can I prevent further pregnancies?
A: Two aspirin placed tightly between the knees. :rolleyes:
 

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They are all funny..
 
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