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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
From the Dog



Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beeper s, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cat's food before they eat it even though it looks tempting.

2.. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3 I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.

4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.

9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

10. Sticking my nose into someone's rear end is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

12.. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

13. I will not get sick in the car.

14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.

15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and bite my hind end when we have company.

16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

And, finally, my last question...


Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have back what the vet took?
:D
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Geez Taurus, I thought you were on vacation. Four good ones in a row - way to go! Alls right with my world now except I miss Peace!
Thank you Natalie. :D I've been multitasking my little heart out with jokes (both here and in email) and a few other chores that needed doing. I hope Peace is well too, I haven't seen him recently. Maybe one of the others knows where he is? *scratches head*
 

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Hey Taurus, when you take time out from posting funnies, all of my e-mail buddies starve cause I feed them with your stuff!! They think you're great.
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