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(Absolutely Brilliant)

IF YOU DON'T READ THIS TO THE VERY END, YOU HAVE LOST A DAY IN YOUR LIFE. AND WHEN YOU HAVE FINISHED, DO AS I AM DOING AND SEND IT ON.

George Carlin's Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21 YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
 

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Funny stuff, but we need to give credit to the right guy. That was Larry Miller, not George Carlin. It was part of Miller's routine back in the late 80's, along with the 5 levels of drinking which you can find on Youtube, and it is hillarious.

a couple of clips from his routine at that time, unfortunately the aging bit isn't included.

5 levels of drinkinghttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6OZKdHWY58

Thanksgiving, marriage http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4y2eNs-cgyI
 

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Wuchak... The 5 levels of drinking (Dennis Leary) That guy makes my stomach hurt frim laughing . :D :D
 

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quote:Originally posted by chaz

Wuchak... The 5 levels of drinking (Dennis Leary) That guy makes my stomach hurt frim laughing . :D :D
6 if you live in a trailer park : )

Thanks Chaz, that's one of the funniest stand-up bits I've ever seen. (btw it was Larry Miller, Dennis did the bit on Coffee I posted)I would love to see Larry doing stand-up live.
 

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Yeah, Dennis Leary and the Coffee had me in stitches.
 
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