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Over the last few years, I've noticed a disturbing trend: The near-total disappearance of manners. It seems that hardly anyone says "please", "thank you", "sir", or "ma'am" anymore. Seeing someone cover their mouth when yawning in public also seems to have gone by the wayside. Ditto for men holding the door open for ladies, or giving up their seat on a crowded bus or train for one. The men at the table rising to their feet as a lady arrives to be seated? Forget it. A man pulling out the chair at the table for a lady as she sits? No way! Don't even get me started on the prevalence of profanity. The F-word is now so common in everyday conversation, it hardly raises an eyebrow anymore. When I was growing up, most of us guys were conscientious about how we dressed; we wanted to look good for the girls. Nowadays, too many young men seem to be competing to see who can dress the sloppiest...and many young girls seem to think that the more scuzzy a guy looks, the better! When did being polite go out of style? Why does my attitude on this subject make me "old fashioned"? I'm giving my all to teach my sons this lesson: There is a HUGE difference.... between men vs. gentlemen, as well as women vs. ladies. If this makes me "old fashioned" or "out of touch"...SO BE IT.
 

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We are both on the same page here, 100%.
 

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Over the last few years, I've noticed a disturbing trend: The near-total disappearance of manners. It seems that hardly anyone says "please", "thank you", "sir", or "ma'am" anymore. Seeing someone cover their mouth when yawning in public also seems to have gone by the wayside. Ditto for men holding the door open for ladies, or giving up their seat on a crowded bus or train for one. The men at the table rising to their feet as a lady arrives to be seated? Forget it. A man pulling out the chair at the table for a lady as she sits? No way! Don't even get me started on the prevalence of profanity. The F-word is now so common in everyday conversation, it hardly raises an eyebrow anymore. When I was growing up, most of us guys were conscientious about how we dressed; we wanted to look good for the girls. Nowadays, too many young men seem to be competing to see who can dress the sloppiest...and many young girls seem to think that the more scuzzy a guy looks, the better! When did being polite go out of style? Why does my attitude on this subject make me "old fashioned"? I'm giving my all to teach my sons this lesson: There is a HUGE difference.... between men vs. gentlemen, as well as women vs. ladies. If this makes me "old fashioned" or "out of touch"...SO BE IT.
As a former high school teacher...I've noticed the trend for 10+ years now! It's not being taught at home, to be re-inforced while in school! It all started with the 'low pants' trend in the late '90's...and has simply gotten worse since then!

We teach our kids to say, 'please' and 'thank you' and to hold the door for others on Sunday mornings, etc. Kids will stick with what they are taught as youngsters...and when they are not taught...it'll show through!
 

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I agree also. I told my doctor the other day, I thought women were losing their femininity. She agreed.
 

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You're not out of touch, you're a gentleman. I think the gals may not command respect from the guys. Maybe they haven't been taught to be lady like. Sometimes we gals have had to be strong & do things for our selves, that we just go about our business not expecting someone to open the door for us. When I'm shopping, I encounter more rude women than men some days. LOL
 

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My wife and I lived in the Seattle area for 40+ years.
People were rushing around, ignoring each other, honking horns and busy climbing ladders that went nowhere.

4 years ago we moved to a rural community with farms, a lot of open area etc.
The people here are like they are from a different planet.
They are much more relaxed, much friendlier and very polite.
We have all types, white, black, latino, we have Mennonites; a real mixed bag.
Everyone gets along, everyone is friendly. Strangers say hi on the streets.
It's weird. I love it.

My point is; is maybe it is where a person lives that makes them what they are.
People in big cities get the dreaded yuppy disease, start climbing social and business ladders and ignoring people, become rude self centered robots.

All I know is that I moved from Seattle, one of the worst places on the planet to live, to a community of 1700 and after
4 years I am still amazed at the differences in attitudes of the people toward each other.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
You're not out of touch, you're a gentleman. I think the gals may not command respect from the guys. Maybe they haven't been taught to be lady like. Sometimes we gals have had to be strong & do things for our selves, that we just go about our business not expecting someone to open the door for us. When I'm shopping, I encounter more rude women than men some days. LOL
Why, thank you kindly, Miss...and I'm tipping my hat as I type!:)
 

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+1 on what the OP said. When I was in high school I don't remember the F word ever being used by females, however now it's common. Even the guys when they used the F bomb it was with other guys and not in front of the girls. I think I saw the trend begin to change after I got out of the military and started college. This is something I discuss with my coffee buddies quite a bit. It's refreshing when you encounter a female (or male for that matter) who dresses like they care, do not use profanity and respect other people. I occasionally hear someone call me sir or my wife maam and that person always gets a smile and a nod from me. Unfortunately I can't see this changing any time soon. There are some very nice people in this world but far too many seem to be totally lacking in manners and respect for others. This is a good thread.
 

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Over the last few years, I've noticed a disturbing trend: The near-total disappearance of manners. It seems that hardly anyone says "please", "thank you", "sir", or "ma'am" anymore. Seeing someone cover their mouth when yawning in public also seems to have gone by the wayside. Ditto for men holding the door open for ladies, or giving up their seat on a crowded bus or train for one. The men at the table rising to their feet as a lady arrives to be seated? Forget it. A man pulling out the chair at the table for a lady as she sits? No way! Don't even get me started on the prevalence of profanity. The F-word is now so common in everyday conversation, it hardly raises an eyebrow anymore. When I was growing up, most of us guys were conscientious about how we dressed; we wanted to look good for the girls. Nowadays, too many young men seem to be competing to see who can dress the sloppiest...and many young girls seem to think that the more scuzzy a guy looks, the better! When did being polite go out of style? Why does my attitude on this subject make me "old fashioned"? I'm giving my all to teach my sons this lesson: There is a HUGE difference.... between men vs. gentlemen, as well as women vs. ladies. If this makes me "old fashioned" or "out of touch"...SO BE IT.
Roger that NCLEO89!

I'm pretty fed up with the lack of common courtesy and mutual respect in our society too, generally speaking. I was brought up to mind my manners and to respect others. I like being old fashioned, it makes me feel better about my self when I treat people right. I like to treat people the way I would like to be treated.

What happened to us?
 

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Discussion Starter #11
My wife and I lived in the Seattle area for 40+ years.
People were rushing around, ignoring each other, honking horns and busy climbing ladders that went nowhere.

4 years ago we moved to a rural community with farms, a lot of open area etc.
The people here are like they are from a different planet.
They are much more relaxed, much friendlier and very polite.
We have all types, white, black, latino, we have Mennonites; a real mixed bag.
Everyone gets along, everyone is friendly. Strangers say hi on the streets.
It's weird. I love it.

My point is; is maybe it is where a person lives that makes them what they are.
People in big cities get the dreaded yuppy disease, start climbing social and business ladders and ignoring people, become rude self centered robots.

All I know is that I moved from Seattle, one of the worst places on the planet to live, to a community of 1700 and after
4 years I am still amazed at the differences in attitudes of the people toward each other.
Interestingly, Roy Huntington [publisher/editor of American Handgunner magazine] wrote an article a few years ago much along these lines. He moved from the West coast [California?] to Missouri. His comments on the differences between the two locales very closely mirror your own.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Roger that NCLEO89!

I'm pretty fed up with the lack of common courtesy and mutual respect in our society too, generally speaking. I was brought up to mind my manners and to respect others. I like being old fashioned, it makes me feel better about my self when I treat people right. I like to treat people the way I would like to be treated.

What happened to us?
I wish I knew, friend...but judging by the responses to this thread so far, let's take comfort in knowing that while our kind may be a minority...we aren't extinct just yet!:cool:
 

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My parents taught me to remove my hat when I entered ANY home or business.
I think I am the only man left that does that anymore!
 

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Over the last few years, I've noticed a disturbing trend: The near-total disappearance of manners. It seems that hardly anyone says "please", "thank you", "sir", or "ma'am" anymore. Seeing someone cover their mouth when yawning in public also seems to have gone by the wayside. Ditto for men holding the door open for ladies, or giving up their seat on a crowded bus or train for one. The men at the table rising to their feet as a lady arrives to be seated? Forget it. A man pulling out the chair at the table for a lady as she sits? No way! Don't even get me started on the prevalence of profanity. The F-word is now so common in everyday conversation, it hardly raises an eyebrow anymore. When I was growing up, most of us guys were conscientious about how we dressed; we wanted to look good for the girls. Nowadays, too many young men seem to be competing to see who can dress the sloppiest...and many young girls seem to think that the more scuzzy a guy looks, the better! When did being polite go out of style? Why does my attitude on this subject make me "old fashioned"? I'm giving my all to teach my sons this lesson: There is a HUGE difference.... between men vs. gentlemen, as well as women vs. ladies. If this makes me "old fashioned" or "out of touch"...SO BE IT.
I go out of my way to practice this, and try to influence my grand sons too. My 2 sons do quite well also.
 

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Here in Alabama, people wave as you go by even if they don't know you. About ten years ago I was driving in California just outside San Francisco and had just stopped to get something to drink. On the way in I noticed a car parked near the entrance with the hood up. On my way out I walked over and asked if I could help. The first words out of this young kids mouth was " are you a F'in mechanic (had to clean it up). I lied and said "why yes I am" and turned around and walked back to my car and left. You can't even try to help people without them talkin ugly.

I was in the Navy and hated Sailor Mouth.
 

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greetings one and all; i agree 100% with all the posters. my first thought is: if you want a child to respect you, do not call them kids. they are children or young adults or whatever. kids are goats (sin bearers in the Bible). second: if you let the tv raise your children, you will have what the tv (hollywood) sees fit to hand out. third: children are usually mirrors reflecting what has been put in front of them. Dixie used to be a nation of respect and chivalry and then we came under reconstruction. no more needs to be said!
 

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I have 3 grown daughters who are married to fine men however I see some of the young women on my street haveing guys who look like scum for dates and I hear 12 year olds use words I did not until I was grown.
 

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i will definitely go back and read all the posts on this thread, as this is a subject both near and dear to my heart and also a major pet peeve at the same time. i'll echo amishman44's sentiments and say, as a teacher, that things are getting worse, and these behaviors are not being taught or used at home. that's all very well and good at the elementary level where you can at least demand proper behavior from younger children and they understand that it's what's expected of them, but it evaporates by middle school due to horrendous parenting, across cultural and socio-economic demographics.

these things were already starting to wane when i got to college (a supposedly well-heeled private college in upstate new york which shall remain nameless). i held doors for women, not because they couldn't but because it was polite. i stood, or at least did that half rising thing, when a woman came into the room or sat down at the table. my classmates thought that was quaint or something. the night before graduating from college we had a party hosted by the college president. walking back from it with my friends, my girlfriend shivered and i gave her my suit coat. the reason i even remember this is that i didn't think that was odd but one of our other female friends said on the spot "gee i wish i had a boyfriend who would do that." that part stood out to me. sad that it did. simple things like that should be the norm. my parents were not strict-- far from it. they merely were thoughtful, civilized people who knew how to inculcate proper behavior in their children. i would never have dreamed of behaving in a way or saying the things i've seen done and said teaching middle school the two years prior to this year. to say that this generation behaves like a bunch of animals is actually really insulting to animals. my dad taught me how to treat girls and women, how to tie a bow tie (which came in handy at a friend's wedding when we all got handed fake bow ties-- i rejected them and went out and got the real thing), how to be modest, and how to take one for the team when something mattered much more to someone else than it did/does to me. gentlemen do these things. please, thank you, etc. are the bare minimum but even those are in short supply.
 
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