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Top Ten Signs You Know You've Joined A ******* HMO...
10. Your Viagra prescription includes a Popsicle stick and some duct tape.
9. The only 100% covered expense is embalming.
8. Your Prozac comes in colors and has little "m"s on each pill.
7. Preventive Care Coverage includes "an apple a day".
6. Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
5. The Lone Star Bar and Grill is an approved pharmacy.
4. The only proctologist lists his address as Rotorooter.
3. The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
2. Directions to the Dr.'s office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park".
1. The annual breast exam is conducted at Hooter's
 

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11. If you need a cast for a broken bone, they give you modeling clay & tell you to use your blow dryer.
12. The x-ray is a creepy dude with piercing eyes.
13. For an eye exam they give out playgirl or playboy mags & watch you for a reaction.
14. If you need anesthesia for an operation, they ask you which flavor moonshine you'd like.
15. If you have a rotted tooth that needs to be pulled, they give you a doorknob
with a piece of string attached.
 

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Bwahahahahahahahaha
 

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16. The wheelchair is an old rolling office chair.
17. Office hours are all day 'cept Sundee (Sunday). 'Cause that's when momma takes us to church.
18. The doctor offers you a cigarette and some of momma's latest 'shine to calm your nerves.
19. The doctor's tool kit is also his tackle box.
20. The ambulance is also a hearse and the family car.
 

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20. The ambulance is also a hearse and the family car.
In the town where I grew up, the funeral homes did double duty as the ambulance service. The hearses had flashing red lights and sirens.
 

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23. They have a "Last Dinner" option consisting of ham, eggs n grits
24. When you go in to deliver a baby, they give you a stick to chomp on & a slug of
moonshine.
25. During an ob-gyn exam the patient asks her Dr/Uncle/Cousin what the due date is.
 

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Were did all you guys get this imformation about us ********?? I'm going to have to check this out over on that snoopies web sight....
 
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