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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
A burglar broke into a house one night.
He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.'
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'
Startled, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
'Yes', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'
'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
'The kind of people who would name a German Shepherd Jesus.'
 

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Friends had two macaws - one them would loudly emulate the sound of a shotgun being racked. Wife #1 and I house-sat one time and I swear it was an 870 being racked in anger. I almost hit the floor it was so loud n real!
So wife #1 is now EX-wife #1?
 
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