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Another thread got me thinking about proper manners. Are they still taught anymore? I remember our pastors wife teaching us boys how to be a gentleman. You know, how to open a door for a lady, walk on the street side of the sidewalk. These were informal classes after church for maybe 15 minutes. Once she was convinced you would be a gentleman at all times it was much easier to get a date with one of the girls. She would even suggest whom to ask and where to go. Often these dates were after church that same day and would end at evening service.

I didn't think about it at the time but I'm sure she talked to the girls also and knew who was interested in who, and who was available that particular Sunday afternoon and what they liked to do.
 

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For the most part, I think kids just model their behavior after their parents and other adults that are important in their life, but actual lessons on manners? I'd guess that would be rare. We certainly let our kids know in no uncertain terms when they were being rude, though. Rude behavior was not tolerated.
 

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Another thread got me thinking about proper manners. Are they still taught anymore? I remember our pastors wife teaching us boys how to be a gentleman. You know, how to open a door for a lady, walk on the street side of the sidewalk. These were informal classes after church for maybe 15 minutes. Once she was convinced you would be a gentleman at all times it was much easier to get a date with one of the girls. She would even suggest whom to ask and where to go. Often these dates were after church that same day and would end at evening service.

I didn't think about it at the time but I'm sure she talked to the girls also and knew who was interested in who, and who was available that particular Sunday afternoon and what they liked to do.
The problem now is that most of the girls themselves are so severely deficient in manners to the point they either wouldn't recognize, or wouldn't care if they were shown any. Some may even get offended.

The further the rest of the world drifts away from God, church and common decency, the more freakish and bizarre people like you and I will seem to them.
 

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Former Hoadpiler
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
For the most part, I think kids just model their behavior after their parents and other adults that are important in their life, but actual lessons on manners? I'd guess that would be rare. We certainly let our kids know in no uncertain terms when they were being rude, though. Rude behavior was not tolerated.
I hate to say it but mom wasn't the best for proper manners.:D Its not that she was rude but rather she wasn't all that proper. I think what we were taught was Victorian manners.
 

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agree, seems to be an ingredient often missing these selfish me me days

and agree hidden advantage is just by being a gentleman, allowed me introduction to GF's and then dear wife all well above my looks.


for me, politeness is a sine qua non of civilization.

Robert A. Heinlein
 

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Moving parts in rubbing contact require lubrication to avoid excessive wear. Honorifics and formal politeness provide the lubrication where people rub together. Often the very young, the untraveled, the naive, the unsophisticated deplore these formalities as "empty," "meaningless," or "dishonest," and scorn to use them. No matter how "pure" their motives, they thereby throw sand into machinery that does not work too well at best. Robert A. Heinlein
 

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Manners and a sense of morality played a big part in my upbringing.
These things remain "second nature" to this day.
 

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Being over 60 and having dealt with high school kids most of my career (as an assistant principal), I would have to say that although a lot of them have just never been taught about manners and politeness, opening doors (for men and women), etc., there are still quite a few that have and it's very refreshing to see some of the younger one's showing respect for others.
 

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If I want to have my butt chewed out on the spot all I have to do is walk in front of my wife while we're out in public. Sometimes I do it just to watch her reaction. Actually it's amazing to me how many men seem to have totally dispensed with this simple exercise in politeness.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
If I want to have my butt chewed out on the spot all I have to do is walk in front of my wife while we're out in public. Sometimes I do it just to watch her reaction. Actually it's amazing to me how many men seem to have totally dispensed with this simple exercise in politeness.
I was taught to walk beside but always on the curb side.
 

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I was taught to walk beside but always on the curb side.
I walk beside her when we're next to a curb. What I was primarily thinking of was when a couple is entering a business, e.g., a restaurant, I am always surprised how many men rush in ahead of their wives (or girlfriends) as if they just can't wait to get inside.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
I walk beside her when we're next to a curb. What I was primarily thinking of was when a couple is entering a business, e.g., a restaurant, I am always surprised how many men rush in ahead of their wives (or girlfriends) as if they just can't wait to get inside.
Okay. Thats when the women walks ahead. That and when you are in a minefield.:D
 

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If I want to have my butt chewed out on the spot all I have to do is walk in front of my wife while we're out in public. Sometimes I do it just to watch her reaction. Actually it's amazing to me how many men seem to have totally dispensed with this simple exercise in politeness.

I thought all women were to walk 3 paces behind the man.
 

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My wife likes to walk point. We get out of the vehicle and she is making tracks.
 

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thus the old saying... casting pearls before swine.


manners only work when people receiving them can recognize them.
my generation knows them.

funny, the prom was suppose to be a test of manners. today, its just turned into a precursor to sex.

as people become more involved with social media and dont have ftf encounters....the chance to pratice real manners will disappear.

as people choose their 'like groups,' they dont get to mix with other types of people, and lose the abilty to read other people and deal with it.

this is why the business world is so messed up. everyone practices the ritual of getting a job and impressing the interviewer, then turn into zombies and brainless people on both sides of you at work with absolutely no ability to converse. but like nookies in a babies mouth, rest assure they will have that device in their hand staying connected to friends not even in this country or state.
weird.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
funny, the prom was suppose to be a test of manners. today, its just turned into a precursor to sex.
I think its always been a precursor to sex at least from the man's point of view. We were just more polite asking. :D
 
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