I go ballistic when I see these topics come up. After spending over 20 years with the US Dept of Justice, much of that time in court and even more doing case reviews, I can assure you the things you see written in gun rags by what I call "****house lawyers" is without merit. I am not a lawyer but I did sleep in a Holiday Inn Express once and do have a BS in Criminal Justice.
In these United States, we have two court systems ... criminal and civil. In criminal court, you are either found guilty or innocent. In civil court, you can be sued for the actions you take.
In all states, use of deadly force is restricted to when your life or the life of another is in jeopardy of serious injury or death. Before you have the right to use deadly force (gun knife, ball bat, karate, etc), you must exhaust all efforts to neutralize the attack by trying to escape, talk your way out of it, or use less than lethal force. If all fails, you have the right to defend yourself by using lethal force. If you fail to meet the above "test", you would be committing murder or at a minimum, assault with a deadly weapon. In criminal court, there is a fine line between self defense and murder (assault with a deadly weapon or attempted murder if the perp lives). Manslaughter is often a compromise when a death is involved and there isn't clear proof of intent. A mistake in judgement can land you in prison or worse. You have to be right and be able to prove it. Sadly enough, I've seen way too many people go to prison for doing what they thought was right based on education from TV shows.
Right response when being questioned after a self defence shooting: Based on his actions, I knew he would hurt me or kill me if I didn't do something. I tried to reason with the guy but he kept coming. I wanted to escape but there was no escape route. My only choice was to shoot.
Wrong answers: Why did you shoot him 13 times? "My gun ran out of ammo." Why didn't you run? "I'm not going to run away from anyone." Why didn't you try to reason with him? "I don't talk to strangers."
In criminal court, it is a matter of proving your innocence by meeting the above "test". Ammo, the type of weapon used, modified trigger pull, gun modifications, etc have nothing to do with guilt or innocence. It all boils down to intent. If intent can be proven, you're going down. If you protected yourself or another legally, no court in the nation will challenge the use of reloaded ammo, hollow points, a 44 Mag, or a 3 lb trigger pull. You do what you have to do to stop the attack.
Civil court is quite another issue. Many states have laws that protect you from being sued if you are found innocent in a criminal court. Unfortunately, some states don't have this law so even if you are proven innocent, you may be sued for wrongful death, using excessive force, or using bad judgement. In these cases, all sorts of evidence can be introduced to make you look bad. Here's where a jury might increase the award for such things as hollow points, high powered guns, disabling a safety device, etc.
Yes I know, lots of people talk big and say things like "I'll blow somebody's head off if they _____" (fill in the blank). Fact is, you have less rights than the perp so do yourself a big favor, check into the laws in your state as they pertain to self defense and civil law. Remember, ignorance is no excuse.
The sole purpose of self defense is to stop the attack. When you carry, you can't possibly guess what you might be up against. A single attacker ... a gang ... a person on drugs ... a 300 lb man with heavy winter clothing ... a Pitbull, etc. The only solution is to arm yourself with the weapon and ammunition you feel is best for your threat level. Don't let gun rags influence your decision when they are trying to sell products, not protect your best interests. Ballistic gel and wet phone books don't shoot back.
Protecting yourself and family while inside a home is quite different than a "carry" situation. You are going to be at close range so high powered weapons are not a good choice. You don't want to deafen yourself nor do you want a bullet zooming through a wall and hitting an innocent bystander. You may laugh but DOJ always recommended a 38 Special with 148gr wadcutter target ammo. These loads are devastating at close range yet will probably not go through a wall or door with enough retained energy to kill someone. Besides, they aren't so loud as to cause permanent hearing loss. In civil court, using a low powered target load won't get much sympathy from a jury. A laser is an exceptionally good addition to a home defense weapon. Not only will it allow you to point the weapon from almost any position, it has a very high deterrent factor when a bad guy sees a red dot on his chest. A laser in the eyes will temporarily blind the BG. The light level in a home makes a laser good for daylight, low light or even total darkness. It helps illuminate the target so hopefully you won't blast granny.
My personal carry gun is either a Colt Commander loaded with 230 gr FMJs or a GP-100 loaded with 158 gr JHPs. My house gun is a S&W Mod 15 4" 38 Special loaded with 148 gr HBWCs. My wife has a Walther P-22 with a rail mounted laser at her bedside.