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3,780 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question
>if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern
>small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a
>grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and
>asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do
>know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a
>young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
>disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife,
>and you manipulate people and talk about them behind
>their backs. You think you're a big shot when you
>haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to
>anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know
>The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do,
>he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do
>you know the defense attorney?" She again replied,
>"Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster,
>too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't
>build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one
>of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
>wife with three different women. One of them was your
>wife. Yes, I know him."
>The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked
>both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very
>quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her
>if she knows me,
>I'll send you to the electric chair."

Forum Founder
3,639 Posts
Sounds like the Lawyer weren't very smart, but the Judge was. That reminds me when I was Accountant for Company that had a grocery store. We were doing a check of the Cash Registers, and while I was counting the money in the register, a little Old Lady walked up and said "Sonny Boy, are you a Christian?". I was busy, and without thinking I said I try to be. She Replied,"Either you are, or you aren't. There is no in between". I'll always remember that.[:I]
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