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GI's PREPARE FOR WAR IN THE DESERT
( Let's Go To The Races)


Now everyone knows that in order to have a proper horse race you must have at least three entries. A Win, Place and Show position. It seems the American GI's preparing for desert warfare, languishing in the heat and oppression of the southwestern portion of this great United States of America, found this environment not to thier liking and decided to provide their own entertainment.

As the U S Army Quartermaster was able to supply two animals, Clyde and Emir the camels, they thereupon took it upon themselves to inquire of the local parish priest, Padre if you will, to loan them his donkey to make up the field.

With great fanfare, the their first Saturday race went off without a hitch and low and behold to everybody's amazement the Padre's animal won. Whereupon the Sunday Edition of the local scandal sheet that they called The GI News blazed with the headlines:

"PADRE'S ASS OUT IN FRONT!"


Needless to say the local Bishop was not the least amused at these headlines and called the poor Padre in for an explanation. Upon learning that this was just the GI's way of saying that his animal had won, the bishop was mollified.

Well came next Saturday, race day, the poor Padres' animal, could do no more than second and the Sunday Edition of The GI News announced in the headlines:

"PADRE'S ASS BACK IN PLACE"

Again, the bishop further consternated and not the least bit amused with this and called the poor Padre in for further explanations. The Padres succeeded in explaining that this was only GI language for the fact that his animal had come in second, the Place Position, and again the Bishop was mollified. Letting the poor padre off with a stern reprimand.

The following Saturday dawned an extremely hot and blistering day and the poor Padres animal to no-one's amazement stumbled coming out of the gate and barely managed only a dismal, distant third. the Sunday Edition of The GI News proclaimed the event with the headlines:

"PADRE'S ASS SHOWS"

Suffice us to say that there was no amount of explanations that the poor Padre could offer to satisfy the Bishop and he forbade the good Padre the loan of his animal for any more of the Saturday races. Thereupon the Sunday Edition of The GI News told the world of this event with the headlines:

"BISHOP SCRATCHES PADRE'S ASS"

And so it goes as our GI's prepare for war in the desert.
 

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Ausmerican.
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42,767 Posts
Good one. :D
 
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