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Discussion Starter #1
With all the complaqints about work and jobs, I thought maybe y'all could identify with this: (Gotta add: thanks to Creepyrat)


1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh!t.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in
public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my
way.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a stinking word you're
saying.

10. Ha... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of
view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

23 . And your crybaby-whiny opinion would be...?

24. Do I look like a people person?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

40. Oh I get it... like humor... but different.
 

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a. What part of NO don't you understand? Works on tele-marketers. If they speak Spanish say it twice, and hang up.
 

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:D Amen - I'm committing some of these to memory.
 

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Working in the shop of a Dodge Dealership, you can pretty much count on me saying: "F_ _ _ this"; "F_ _ _ that"; "Damn engineer....."; "........like to see him do this for that much"; and I use this alot: "Can of Gas and a Match, okay, what the hell! That's why they have insurance for!"
 

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Are you stupid or were you actually born without a brain???

You cannot use extermination as a tool for settling your petty grudges with your fellow employees!!!
 

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I like "F You, get outta my face!!" I use that one quite often.....:D
 

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I have said this one many times:

'8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.'
 

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Some of these really had me busting my sides, as I file my personal cheat sheet. Thanks
 
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