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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
A true story posted by another member the other day reminded me of this TRUE STORY.

My wife was trying on a pair of flannel linned jeans at tractor supply the other day.

W " how do these jean look ? ".
Me" I dont know, I dont care what jeans look like, you know that".
W " well how do they look on me? "
Me" are they comfortable?"
W. "Yes".
Me " do you like them?"
w. "yes".
me " then buy them."
w. " OK".

NO WAY IN HELL am I getting sucked into answering that.
heres why,,

Next day, she jumps me and says they make her look fat.

I seen that coming from about 2 miles out. :p

Me. " All I care is that they are comfortable. Are they comfortable?
w. Yes, I like them"
me. " then thats all that matters,, I dont give a damn what they look like as long as they are comfortable. You know that."

And I immediately walk away and go get another nice hot cup of SHUT THE HELL UP. :rolleyes:
She wears them.

WHY CANT THEY ASK US STUFF LIKE,,
How does this gun look on me?
Does this holster clash with my purse ?
Do these shooting glasses make me look fat?


Next week,, " hows this blouse look?'. haha. .
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Ex wife: "Why do you have all those guns and all those bullets?"
Me: "Well, why do you have all those different purses and handbags?"

Note to self: Sometimes fighting fire with fire can get you burned badly.
 

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My wife once asked me "How many guns do you really need"
My reply "How many shoes do you really need?"
She doesn't ask any more.:)
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Ex wife: "Why do you have all those guns and all those bullets?"
Me: "Well, why do you have all those different purses and handbags?"

Note to self: Sometimes fighting fire with fire can get you burned badly.
Or 100 pairs of shoes that they NEVER wear. :confused:

EDIT " LMAO Seabee. Just seen that. nail on head.
 

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Just use the "huh did you say something response" works like a charm and you stay away from the fire
 

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Anyone here able to figure the side out? If yes, please enlighten me.
 

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"Do these jeans make me look fat?"

"No, your fat makes you look fat."

:cool:

I'll probably be single soon.
Um, it may be that you're essentially single now but just don't know it yet. :D
 

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Discussion Starter #10
"Do these jeans make me look fat?"

"No, your fat makes you look fat."

:cool:

I'll probably be single soon.
Or REALLY black and blue with a fat lip. :D
 

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I have found an answer for those.

In most case where a similar question comes up I say something like this.
"Honey, with your smile no one will notice." :D
And it's true too.
 

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Took me awhile, but I broke my wife of taking me shopping. Esp. when she's cloths shopping :D I'd pick out the gaudiest looking outfit and hold it in front of me looking in the mirror and ask her how I looked (I can't repeat what she called me, but the second word was idiot :p). Then she'd pick out different outfits to try on and have me hold them as I followed her around... until she caught me "prancing" around behind her out of the corner of her eye. She didn't know if she wanted to scream at me or roll on the floor laughing :p. Sales people got a good laugh outa it. Needless to say, by then she wouldn't even let me get close to the make-up and perfume. :eek: One time in Walley World, they were playing music and some guy and his wife (we had never seen before) were in the same isle shopping. An old Doobie Brothers song came on and the guy and I just started dancing. The women just looked at each other and started laughing. The codetta was at the car dealer and her looking for a new car. She found what she liked and wanted to go on a test drive. She was worried about accidently leaving her purse in the car and handed it to me. Her and the salesman took off for a test drive and I told her I'd meet her on the showroom floor as they left me in the dust. Well, I wasn't in the showroom when they got back. I got board waiting and went back to the truck dept. and was BS'n with a couple mechanics I know. She asked one of the sales people if they had seen "my husband" (me) and one of them said, "You talking about the guy with the purse ?" and the place went nuts. :D:D:D. We did get a real good deal on a new car that day. :D So now it's VERY rare that I have to go shopping with her. But I do on occasion and it's usually not a dull day. :D Needless to say, you have to be very comfortable with your manhood to pull some of those stunts off. But they work.
 

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On the topic of "how many guns do you need" ... recently my better half thinned her herd of purses so she could buy a new one. So last night she caught me looking at Gunbroker and said "get rid of a few guns and then I could get a new one" ... I glanced over at her with my version of the look and she responded with "that's not going to happen huh" ... my retort was "ahhhhhhhh no" ...
 

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"does this Desert Eagle make my hand look small?"

now there's a question we'd all love to hear our woman ask.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
On the rare occasion I actually get DRAGGED into cloths shopping, I always do the same thing. I say OK, Im going to see what they have in mens cloths, Then come back in about 5 to 10 minutes and just stand there watching her. Usually its not more than a few minutes she is asking if I looked already. I reply YUP. Then continue to stand and watch her in silence. It drives her nuts. We usually leave in short order.
Last time she was complaining that her and her mother used to go look at cloths for hours and It was useless taking me cloths shopping. :D:D:D:D

So I guess my system is working somewhat.

I just shrudge and say I know what I want, and they either have it , or they dont. I dont need several hours. I hate shopping ( unless at the LGS browsing , AND THATS ONLY GOOD FOR ABOUT 30 MINUTES. ) and I can blow through the grocery store in 15 minutes. Tops. In fact, when she wants me to go grocery shopping, I tell her to make a list, and I will go myself.

AND I DONT DO F#@$**# WALMART. :mad: SO GET OVER IT. :p
 

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On the rare occasion I actually get DRAGGED into cloths shopping, I always do the same thing. I say OK, Im going to see what they have in mens cloths, Then come back in about 5 to 10 minutes and just stand there watching her. Usually its not more than a few minutes she is asking if I looked already. I reply YUP. Then continue to stand and watch her in silence. It drives her nuts. We usually leave in short order.
Last time she was complaining that her and her mother used to go look at cloths for hours and It was useless taking me cloths shopping. :D:D:D:D

So I guess my system is working somewhat.

I just shrudge and say I know what I want, and they either have it , or they dont. I dont need several hours. I hate shopping ( unless at the LGS browsing , AND THATS ONLY GOOD FOR ABOUT 30 MINUTES. ) and I can blow through the grocery store in 15 minutes. Tops. In fact, when she wants me to go grocery shopping, I tell her to make a list, and I will go myself.

AND I DONT DO F#@$**# WALMART. :mad: SO GET OVER IT. :p

Can I get an AMEN BROTHER !!!! :D:D:D

My wife and her sister can waist a whole day "shopping" and usually end up going back and getting the first thing they looked at !!!
 

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I was asked, " Do these pants make my butt look big?" I replied, "Nope, it's your a$$ that makes your butt look big." I can duck pretty quick.
 

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Once asked a girl at a club, over the loud music, if she wanted to dance? When she responded that she did not want to dance, I responded with, over the loud music, what's that? She again explained that she did not want to dance. I looked at her kinda of funny and said...I didn't ask you if you wanted to dance, I said you look fat in those pants. Sometimes you CAN win!
 
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