[jimbo1096]

Seems like a good topic to start for my 1900th post-
So, through your life there must be some humorous event or thing you did that was funny and embarrassing. I'll start - of course.

Back about 20 years ago we had an '84 Chevy Impala that was a good but well used second hand company car. We lived on a corner house and I always parked on the street and walked up the sidewalk to our front door. One day my wife and I arrived home and I stopped right at our sidewalk, got out of the car on the driver's side with a bag of groceries and the keys in my left hand and proceeded to close the door with my right hand. Just as the car door closed I realized my fingers were curled over the top of the window frame but I was too slow and the door slammed shut, trapping all four fingers between the foam weatherstrip on the door frame and the car body. It was slightly painful but not jump up and down screaming type pain. My wife had beaten me out of the car and was already approaching the front door expecting me to be close behind to unlock it for her. Here I am, keys and bag in the far hand, the right trapped in the locked car door with me standing on the traffic side of my car out in the street. I can't reach the door lock with the left hand, and don't want to drop the grocery bag either. So I called to my dear wife and calmly as I could asked her to come back to the car. She kept asking me what I was saying until I was speaking load enough for neighbors 4 houses away to hear me. She still didn't want to walk back to the car and it wasn't until several attempts of me cajoling her to come help me she finally realized I was serious. She about fainted when she came back to the car and saw my hand stuck half in the door at the top. Still don't know if that near faint was from being upset or laughing so hard she almost peed her pants. Anyway, she finally managed to get my keys out of my hand and unlock the door, and I only suffered a swollen hand and a heavy blow to my dignity.

 

[CodyBrown]

Well, my most emabarasing momemt that I can recall offhand was carving a pumpkin. I had just gotten through telling my ex-girlfriends little brother to always cut towards your buddy, and not your body. Well, I was cutting the top of the pumpkin open with a brand new knife, and guess what, I had to eat my words!! The knife slipped out and cut my forearm wide open. Off I went to the hospital to get it stitched up. I think there was either 12 or 13 stitches. Luckily the knife was sharp enough that I didn't feel a thing. I still don't have the full strength back in that arm, and it will be 4 years ago come October. I'm not very good at taking pictures, but I tried:

 

[Hairtrigger]

An old girlfriend and I got caught parking by the local law enforcement.
enough said

 

[Calvin Wiles]

My most embarrassing moment in the last few years were after I got my CCW permit and was carrying with a Don Hume clip on IWB holster. We were eating in a crowded Restaurant, and started to get up from the table and leave, and when I got up, the holster (with the P97 in it) went bouncing across the floor. I scooped it up and headed for the Bathroom to put it back on. Needless to say I've never worn a clip on holster since. If it don't have belt loops I don't wear it.

 

[stoble]

One of the many reasons for me getting my CCW was for carrying a gun in my car and truck. Prior to getting the permit, I was on the way to a meeting in another town and saw a state trooper with light on at an intersection. I drove while getting out my Browning BDA 380 and placed in on my dash as I neared the trooper. I did not want to be touching it when I got near the guy. I had to make a right turn and it was clear he was not planning to stop me as he was busy with someone else. As I turned right the gun started to slide across the dash and I of course started trying to catch it but the seat belt held me in the seat! So now I am doing what I didn't want to do by grabbing for the gun while close to the trooper. Thank goodness the gun did not drop off the dash and the trooper did not see this act. In NC the gun has to be in clear sight of the officer if you do not have a permit to carry concealed. I was embarassed about this almost accident and ready to get the permit so I did not have to worry about where the gun was laying.

 

[Natalie]

HA! I hardly know where to begin as there have been so many 'Natalie' moments. There is a tie for the 2 MOST embarressing.

The first: It was Good Friday and I was really tired and peeled off my clothes and got into bed to take a nap. I couldn't sleep because I knew I should be in church. I got up and put on some clean underwear and threw on my jeans that I was wearing earlier that day. On my way to Communion, I felt something by my foot. It was my underpanties that I had on earlier. They had slipped down the leg of my jeans and landed by my foot unbeknowns to me. I scooped them up and stuck them into my jacket pocket but meanwhile I died a thousand deaths.

The second most embarressing was during the O.J. Simpson trial. I had followed the trial daily. I cancelled our cable because I was angry about something not realizing that I needed a cable station to see the end of the trial. I called my daughter at work and she said I could watch it at her house. I gathered a bunch of stuff up and flew over to her house (or so I thought). Her door was unlocked which I thought was weird but I walked in anyway. I then noticed the kitchen floor was unlike hers. I stood there and looked around and realized I was in the wrong house. I couldn't leave fast enough. When I was back on the driveway I dropped everything that was in my arms and had to pick it all up. I threw it into the car and took off. I had turned one street too early and walked into someone elses house that looked like hers. Glad they didn't have a dog and weren't armed. I don't think anyone that lived there knew they had uninvited company that day.

I have eaten a huge chunk of humble pie in telling this to you guys. I've given you only two chapters of the book I could write.

 

[USNCHIEF]

At a 12th Naval District pistol match......"Ready on the right"..."Ready on the left"....and, me, Chief Dumbass squeezed off a round through the bench.

 

[Johngoboom]

I was goose hunting from a very tippy canoe one fall, and it didn't work out so well. The recoil from the 12 gauge goose load was enough to send me and the canoe all the way over. I went home soaked from head to toe as soon as I picked all my stuff up off the bottom of the lake. I sill have the canoe, but I don't hunt out of it anymore.

 

[RVN11B]

Ummmm....I will pass on this one.

I don't think the statute of limitations has safely expired yet.

 

[frank n texas]

Well lets ee what we can remember here? lol

#1 Got my left hand smashed inbetween the driver's door and the door frame the day before my wedding..Yep had a really oversized ring finger for her to try to get the wedding band on...However it was not as tight as the noose around my neck that followed in later years...

#2 Going out the front door of my house early one morning to get in my car parked at the curb in front of the house...I see some dude's head sticking up above the driver's side fender..Ease bck into the house, grab ole 12 AWG and as I am going back out the front door she goes off...Blew a hole thru hardwood floor and caused the dude to $%@ himself I am sure..He took off running...Now here is the bad part of this story...He was not stealing my wheel or hubcap..He was a bum just trying to get some old sweather out from under my front tire that I had parked on top of the night before...

#3 I was mixing the Newport Jazz Festival Concert sound system in the Houston Astrodome some years back...BB King on stage playing and singing..His microphone goes dead in middle of the song...I am sitting in front row seat so I jump up on the some 4 foot high stage...duck walk around the back of him dragging a spare microphone/stand and shoving it in front of him..All good right?
Not quite..As I attempt to jump from the 4 foot high stage back down to the ground I caught my foot on a mcrophone cable..I did a spread eagle landing on the dirt floor...Not only did some 50,000 peeps applaud for me with all the spotlights on my swan dive but as I ease baclk into my seat my date says.. "Wow that was neat...What are you going to do for your encore?"

These are my stories and I am sticking to them...

 

[btrumanj]

Ummmm....I will pass on this one.

I don't think the statute of limitations has safely expired yet.

RVN11B, got to agree with you. Some things in my past are best left in the past and not spoken of
Baker

 

[CodyBrown]

My most embarrassing moment in the last few years were after I got my CCW permit and was carrying with a Don Hume clip on IWB holster. We were eating in a crowded Restaurant, and started to get up from the table and leave, and when I got up, the holster (with the P97 in it) went bouncing across the floor. I scooped it up and headed for the Bathroom to put it back on. Needless to say I've never worn a clip on holster since. If it don't have belt loops I don't wear it.

How did it come out?

 

[GhosTT]

At age 47 now can say....
Pretty much everything I did in public in my 20's........
Was a tad wild and stupid then...

Just so glad , that there were NO cellphones with cameras built in back then...lol

 

[jimbo1096]

HA! I hardly know where to begin as there have been so many 'Natalie' moments. There is a tie for the 2 MOST embarressing.
I have eaten a huge chunk of humble pie in telling this to you guys. I've given you only two chapters of the book I could write.

Hey - I'm with you. I had to pick my story out of a few dozen too.
And now don't you feel better that you've gone public?

 

[Natalie]

Jimbo, if your life leans in the same direction as mine, then we're a couple of the 'chosen few'. At least we provide others on this planet with a chuckle and our lives are not dull. Only my best friend knew of the first story and my husband didn't find out until last night. He said he wished he had been there but I'm glad he wasn't. Both times I wished I was equipped with an 'invisible' button.

 

[terry_p]

At 60 there are so many I have trouble remembering them all.

It was a Patriots Day holiday in Massachusetts and I live there at that time so I decided to go fishing in my canoe (my wife had to work). I was by myself and fishing but not catching but I did bring a 6 pack of King Buds and was happy with the April weather. After a while I had to relieve myself and figured (I'm sure the 3-4 beers didn't cloud my judgement) I could stand up and wiz over the end. I stood up and the canoe raised up out of the water on the other end and got real tippy and I realized I was going in so I tried to dive in so I wouldn't tip the canoe over (More of the judgement thing) wrong. Fishing poles, tackle box, floatation cushions, foam seats, paddle, beer you name it and me in the April water and the stuff floating away or sinking in a good breeze. Now I'm with the canoe and I'm able to turn it back upright while in the water. I was also able to climb in after a couple of tries. I had another paddle bungied to the side so I grab that and try to paddle a canoe half full of water to a small island about 50 yards away. Duh I'm anchored and that canoe is real tippy half full of water. I figure I'm going to have to get back in the water to pull the anchor as I can't get to it without tipping the canoe back over (two more times convinced me of that). Just then some kids in a small boat with an electric motor come by and offer to help. I had them pull the anchor and worked my way over to the island, got on land and emptied the canoe while the kids went around and gathered up the stuff that was still floating.

I thanked them and headed back to the launch. Brand new fishing pole, reel and tackle box at the bottom of the lake.

 

[Calvin Wiles]

How did it come out?

A lot of stares and whispers when I came out, but the Girl at the Register took my money and say anything. No one said a word to me, and I was glad. Luckily I was in a Restaurant that I only go to occasionally, and no one knew me. Got out of my Truck and walked into a local convenience store and was filling up my coffee cup when a neighbor walked up behind me and pulled my shirt down over it and smiled. Another time I was filling up my truck at the same store and another person was filling up their vehicle and I noticed them looking at me and smiling and I realized that my shirt was over the handle. They didn't say anything. If you are carrying IWB with shirt tail out, its a good idea to always check when you exit a vehicle and be sure the shirt is over it. Another Boo, Boo, I did was when I went to be fingerprinted for CCW, they took me in a jail cell where a inmate was to fingerprint me, and I realized I had my belt knife on. I didn't say anything, and they didn't either.

 

[Wizard]

I've never done anything embarrasing........and if you believe that, I also have a piece of property I would like to sell in south Florida.....

 

[CodyBrown]

Calvin- I was wondering how the holster came unclipped from the pants? You said it was a IWB holster...I just can't see how it came out. I have never worn one as of yet, so I don't have the experience though.

 

[GhosTT]

WIZARD
"I've never done anything embarrassing........and if you believe that, I also have a piece of property I would like to sell in south Florida....."

Totally buy that......looking for a good Florida purchase......LOLOLOLOL