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You Know You've Had Too Much Holiday Cheer When..


1. You notice your tie sticking out of your fly.
2. Someone uses your tongue for a coaster.
3. You start kissing the portraits on the wall.
4. You see your underwear hanging from the chandelier.
5. You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off.
6. You strike a match and light your nose.
7. You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad.
8. You hear someone say, "Call a priest!"
9. You hear a duck quacking and it's you.
10. You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the closet.
11. You refill your glass from the fish bowl.
12. You tell everyone you have to go home... and the party's at your place.
13. You ask for another ice cube and put it in your pocket.
14. You yawn at the biggest bore in the room... and realize you're in front of the hall mirror.
15. You pick up a roll, and butter your watch.
16. You suggest everyone stand and sing the national budget.
18. You're at the dinner table and you ask the hostess to pass a bedpan.
19. You take out your handkerchief and blow your ear.
20. You tell your best joke to the rubber plant.
21. You realize you're the only one under the coffee table.
22. You make a suit for yourself made out of leftover wrapping paper.
23. You unwrap yourself in front of your friends and coworkers.
24. You use your wife's tube of red lipstick to color your dog's nose so he looks more like Rudolph.
25. You make yourself a hat of out ham & turkey because you know that'll be the look everyone wants in the new year.
26. You fill your kid's pool with eggnog and belly flop in.
27. Your boss tells you to lay off the booze -- and he's a known alcoholic.

[:p]
 
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